i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
