he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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