I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
