so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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