My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
