Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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