ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize