i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
