If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
