after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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