By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
