i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
