so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Randomize
