Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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