I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
