Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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