Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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