Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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