I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
