Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize