I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Congratulations! We have a period
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
