I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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