You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I will be naked everywhere
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
