Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
