so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I need water and some morals
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