Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
