big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
