That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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