You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
