haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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