Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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