Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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