Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
