i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
