I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
