Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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