We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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