I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
