So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
