She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have post one night stand depression
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