i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize