a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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