my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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