And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
