So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
