The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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