I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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