yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
people are starting to question the shark bite story
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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