sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
