your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
