I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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