you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
