I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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