dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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