google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
