we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
