my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He felt like a one man threesome
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize