Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
