Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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