sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
