found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
