We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
